Here I drag with me
To the depths of solemn seas
Another droplet.
Written in response to
Course: Introduction to Poetry
Prompt: Water
Style: Haiku
This is my first attempt at composing a haiku. So any kind of feedback will be highly appreciated.
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It seems fine to me. Of course, this isn’t my favorite form. The counting syllable thing is always in defiance to preferred word choices.
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Thank you for taking the time to comment. I would have to agree on the syllable constraint part. My first choice for the concluding line was “one more drop of water” but then it did not pass the syllable count.
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I would have killed off the word “of” and maybe relocated water prior to drop. But that’s hindsight for you. The poetry classes do force you to think differently. I enjoyed the Blogging University class but stuck to prose.
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I had thought along similar lines too. Just thought that “one more water drop” is not as fluid as “one more drop of water”. Anyway, ultimately I settled for the word “droplet” instead.
I always think that spontaneity is the key to poetry and makes it sound more natural. But yes, I am enjoying this course as well, exploring different possibilities.
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I write in single setting as much as possible. Editing while creating causes bumps and stops in the feeling. You did good! 😃
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